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Life Stories
Psychopath
Am I categorised at psychopath or sociopath? We argued so badly again this early morning just because I refused to go for breakfast. Till a stage that you try to pushed me out of the room window down to the ground and try to wound me with the knife. How can you think me as psychopath after almost 10 years now we being together. I was stunned! Maybe yes I am. Having this mental disorder. I am truly sorry. But the reality is only God know’s how much that I love you.
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Soory
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Jay Cirque
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My Email : ….
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Chapter Three (The Walking Dead) Present
After leaving the miserable life, we start back all new with hope. Jay get a job and me too get a new job. Although the earning was not much but we happy living small and simple, sometimes just sharing a pack of rice for two. Riding bike to work and to go anywhere, and that’s life..
After a while, opportunities come knocking our door when Jay sacrificed his financial to came out with a vehicle as start up of our small transportation business. Start from there everything was fruitful. God is Great! God is Merciful! Thank You Allah!
But somehow me as human fell again into desire and lust, craved for the one which brought me up to a miserable life again and again. Till the time we get to know DTKY.
Chapter Two (The Walking Dead) Teenager to Adult
Living back at hometown with mom with just high school result, first job I was attached to plastic product factory as machine operator just to earn some money to continue life without troubling much my mom. Then I seek opportunity and I work with a bank few years back after that and during that time internet is something very new.
After a few years in banking industry I joined a commercial insurance company in the capital city and that’s the time internet exposed me to the reality of homosexual environment. I know I was not all alone born gay.
The urge of lust and desired made me had numerous encounters with many, that I unable to track it down anymore. I wish if I just could blog down every each of person whom I did encounter with. And that ruined my career. i lost my focus, I lost my job. Long stranded at home, I was thinking of doing easy job as masseur as I enjoy massaging male body. I joined and I worked with a massage parlour in this city for quite sometimes till I manage the parlour till I got to know Jay.
And during this period also I was being introduced to this chemical romance by someone I got to know from the net, we did a lot of orgies and unsafe encounters until one day Jay and me decided to quit from the parlour and live somewhere else with a new life.
Chapter One (The Walking Dead) Childhood Time
I do not know why this urge for to write about my self from what I remember from my past childhood time. I was born March 18th, 1974, a second child after my elder sister and the oldest son in the family and I was born as a Moslem since both my parent are Moslem. At the age of five, that time mom was pregnant carrying my sister, and I believed this was the time I had collecting so much evidences of parental argument between dad and mom when dad had an affairs with our housemaid. Its happen when mom gone working, as she work on three work shift basis in government hospital.
Arguments keeps happening and I been seeing mom being bullied, scolded and abandoned by dad.That time I was really in needs so much a love and care from a dad and dad fails to deliver what he supposed to do.Although love from my mom cannot be measured, start from that day, she’s the father and she’s the mother at one time carrying two task when dad decided to leave somewhere else with this ‘housemaid’.
After finished my primary school, I was entered a boarding school, a religious school and stayed in hostel and that was when I was 11 years old. Its all a new environment to me, get to know and mingle with new friends and since it was a religious school it was all boys in the hostel.That time I am still unsure about my orientation but I do enjoy to see school senior boys who’s having athletic body, fair smooth skin with cute looks. Ahh! I just dont care much about it that time as my mom ask me here to study, get a good result and become a religious teacher soon I have graduated.
However time pass by and when I was 13, i enjoyed seeing both cute seniors and juniors and I hooked up few juniors as god brothers. At first I’m just slept together with few of them without doing anything intimate, just sleep together.
At 14, with a good education result the government transferred me to another religious school where I met pupils across the country not just from the state I lived in. And there was a junior, two years much younger than me that really catch my eyes and I approached him without doubt. We did intimacy almost every nights in the store room, in communal shower area when nobody around and where’s there’s urge to do it. I’ll be damn! I know this is very wrong in Moslem religion and yet I still do it.
I have no urge for girls although I can consider myself a decent looking, talented and quite well known in school for my talent in performing ’tilawah’ until representing my state for 3 consecutive years. I also actively involve in many school clubs. But my feeling is towards homosexuality- liking boys. Few more hooks up going on with few more boys I attracted with. I just acted like a big brother who take care my juniors with love and care, cuddle like lovers and we did the intimacy action at the end.
Since that time my school result dropped and I leave school without any good result to further study to university.
Ketulusan Hati
Ketulusan Hati (Pure Love from the Heart)- Anuar Zain
There is no insinserity in my love
Does not recognize any imperfectness
Does not comply with the feeling of grief
My love is only delicate
Only wishing for happiness~ forever more
The feeling that I am experiencing
[It’s like] a performance just for you
When you hear the deep meaning of my love to you…
[Chorus]
Loving you does not matter about the period we are in
Strays away from a guy with poetic emptiness
Instead only from the pure love that radiates from my heart
Loving you does not even once give into doubt
The confidence in my heart
Lays only in me
Forever…
Oliver Twist a dedication to Jerome
One night if I’m not mistaken in February 2004 I was in the IRC GM chatroom and I came across a nickname of magicwater. Privated chat with him and I got to know a guy. A charming guy and athletic built body Chinese. I got to know his name’s Oliver.
He came that night which was the eve of Chinese New Year wearing a batik dress. Cute! We chatted and keep chatted while listening some soft musics at place that I work that time, a massage parlour.
And that night we did some light intimacy since he’s too shy to go overboard. LOL!
Till now at the end of 2012, he still one of my valuable and close friend…although he’s not in KL always but he never forget to text me once in a while and always keep me inform if he’s coming back and asking out for a meet up and do some activities together.
Oliver Twist, thanks very much for being such a loyal friend all this while..
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