The addiction to meth

I’m writing this to share about my experience of meth addiction that somehow ruined my life. 

Its all started in one night in few years back when I was being attracted to invitation to tried it from a guy that i got to know from the net. The experience was amazing when having intimacy activities together. Then i dragged Jay into this, and more and more guys uncountable. Until without noticing it we all have got deep and serious into this ‘shit’. This is how it keep spread, from one to another. And this is how it ruined the community, just matter of time. When we claimed that ourselves can control over it, its actually all false. We live in denial. We keep doing it by time occasionally. 

I have seen many around me fallen. So I decided now to be out of this miserable life. I am a healthy person and why I want to be sick. I want a happy and healthy life to be share with my lifetime partner, lover’s of my life and thats you Baby Jay and Kok Yuen. By the power of now, I let all the positive thoughts, love and happiness flow in me. Cleansing me from all the negative urges and craves towards all those ‘shit’s.

 

Horoscope Compatibility Leo and Taurus

This combination is a bit challenging, since Leo’s ruling planet is the Sun, while Taurus is ruled by Venus. These are both fixed signs. Thus the two of you are not very comfortable together, anywhere except for the bedroom. The attraction is very intense, connection is instant and both of you are very willing to explore each other on the first date. Leo has a protective personality, which is typical of lions, and this attracts Taurus. Taurus knows that if they are in a relationship, their Leo partner will protect them at any cost. Leo will support Taurus and make them more confident, although they find it hard to bring out romantic and intimate feelings from Taurus. You will be most happy in passionate arms of each other. Both of you are adventurous, sensuous and craving for more in the bedroom. However, the moment you leave the boudoir and go into the real world, everything becomes so much harder. Being both fixed signs, you just refuse to see each other’s point of view. Leo is short-tempered and Taurus is too stubborn. Leo feels like they should be leaders in a romantic relationship, whereas Taurus provides the attention that Leo requires, but they will expect something in return. You like shiny and expensive things, but Taurus will not approve of your splurge, unless you can provide a very good and sufficient excuse. A long lasting romantic relationship is nearly impossible without great sacrifice from both of you. However, you can become excellent business partners. Both of you are fully focused on job objectives that come first, before your personal needs.

Horoscope Compatibility of Leo and Pisces

To build a lasting relationship, the two signs have to be compatible in the first place. Mixing fire and water is not the best combination, and it will require scrupulous planning. In this relationship one partner should be able to withhold their ego and constantly compromise. This can not be you Leo, since it will be too hard for your public nature and show off personality. So, most likely, it will have to be Pisces, that will compromise on almost everything, but you still need to meet your partner halfway on something else. Leo and Pisces have a very different take on life, thus it becomes difficult for you to reconcile after a misunderstanding. In order for Leo-Pisces partnership to work out, you will have to share mutual respect and forbearance. However, on the positive side, Pisces are enthusiastic to show Leo how magnificent it is to have a partner to love and treasure. Leo, at the same time, provides much needed warmth and support for Pisces. You will share your confidence and help shy Pisces to gain high self-esteem and not to give up on their dreams. You will also gladly provide needed support in any way you can. Therefore, you cannot rule out a good relationship when these signs come together, but this relationship will require considerable amount of work in the long run.

Baby Jay….you’re always by my side

Jay, for all these years that nearly 8 years (today) that we have been together, we been through so many things together in our life, and that make us strong to face obstacles in our life.

Thank you Jay, you been supporting me with all you can, mentally, physically and financially. I cant say more of how I appreciated it for all this years and for more years to come till our last breath.

When sometimes we argued and I threaten to leave you, I never meant to do so. How can I leave you Jay. All my life is to be together with you. So do not take it deeply and forgive me always. When anyone is in temper, they just loosed their mind and said the most stupid things and I did the same too. I know you have done lots to me. Your sacrifices cant never be measured. It is too precious!!

So when Dennis came into our life, its spiced up our life! Three of us living happy together. No doubts! Arguments is normal but we dont prolong it until it ruined our rational mind. We never gave up on him. I admired the way you care for him when he admitted to Assunta Hospital. Things that I dont think I can do as good and sincere as you. You have such noble heart Baby Jay. You remember, when he back from his dinner and he got the stomach ache late at night and we rushed him to Taman Desa Medical Center? And when we have moved to this new place, you did your effort sometimes to prepare us good dinner, open the door and carry his working backpack. You did us laundry and sometimes ironed his working shirts too. You’re just so noble!

And now that he’s gone. Yeah! I’m aware the way he leaved us quite rude. By asking you to packed all his stuff, never want to see me at all nor do it in a good diplomatic and adults way. I remembered when he scold, punched and kicked you that night and I’m sorry I did not enough to stop him. But what I feel now is, our love DTKY is being poisoned by his own action. He felt wrong of what he did. However it was very hard for him to forgive his own self and say sorry to us for what he have did. We never take heart on that. We knew, when human in anger, they tend to do ‘stupid’ mistakes. And it just a mistake.

Baby Jay, it showed to us now the variety type of people that come and go in our life. We always treasured him as one of the chosen person to be with us, although, it just for a while. Its a beautiful life learning for us to become much stronger and for us to always be happy.

Roses for you DTKY

Today I just sent to you a bouquet of roses to show my sincerity and efforts of how I love you so much and also to say sorry. I never thought what I did was wrong but you still cant accept it with your open mind and heart.

Is it so wrong sayang? Is all my efforts to say and ask you nicely to re consider your decision was something ‘shit’ to you or a big threat for you?? I never meant to humiliate you!! I’m not sending you a harsh notice or a big lump of shit! Why cant you just think rationally that I am once, the person that you care and loved before?

Your egoism is the actual problem of you sayang. If you can be humble, down to earth and think that all my intention is never a harm for you. I just want you back. I been thinking, we do not want to have a life of ‘slutting’ around in our ‘chemical’ lust in a nasty and dirty lifestyle right? My intention is to bring us 3 back together and live a happy healthy life together and to avoid all those nasty and dirty activities that we did before with numerous of people that come and go in our life. Do you want to continue all this? I been asking you I just want three of us only, but I understood the urge and lust during our past sesssion required us to invite some others to join in. And if our life is so miserable, cant we work it out together nicely by advising and correcting each other. We all human and human do mistakes, all over and over again.

Clear your mind and heart sayang, look at it positively of what I have said and what my efforts to you. Again I never meant to do harm. We can choose to have our happy life together. Dont misunderstood the roses that I sent to you today as a threathen! Roses means loves.

And all I want is for you to reconsider your decision. Dont live yourself in denial and ego. I know you have did wrong sometimes, Jay and me always compromised and being tolerated. We do not blame you. We accept you for what you are sayang.

Choose to be happy

LIFE is all about a mixture and learning experience of what we have gone through all this while. I have been through beautiful happy moments and also sad times. No doubt, that we in anger, we may loose our rational mind and did nasty things that we’re not supposed to do.

However when I looked at it deeply, why should I choose to live in misery and sadness, it’s only going to worsen and I turn to be too emotional. So I choose to be happy! I’m attracting happiness around me. I’m allowing the flow of love and happiness to run inside me. So what’s the use of we all resist for something bad that came to our life experiences, we should take it with positive thoughts that this is just another process of life. Without all this, whether it is happy or sad, life won’t be happening. It is us to decide to adapt to it wisely and work together towards an excellent result for our future.

I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY

Lagu ku untuk mu

Lagu ku untuk mu

Di saat aku merindukan diri mu…

Be Together Again

Sayang, it has been almost a year plus that we committed into this unique love relationship with beautiful happy moments and also sometimes we live in stress due of misunderstanding and arguments. Jay and myself has never give up and always want this relationship with you to be forever but after you have made your final decision to leave us, we cant stop you and we respect whatever decision that you have came up with.

We have suffered a very bad experience every time we argued and as for myself, I just need a little time to get better and I wont keep this bad energy to ruin my feeling and good thoughts of you since I love you so much. I always think back at our happy moments that we have spent during our relationship. That would be the best cure to cast away all the bad thinking among us three. It is normal for human to made mistakes. Everyone have their weakness and its include me as well. It is such a waste or breaking up after what we have built for a year plus, but I convinced myself that you have your own good reason to do so.

For all your kind help through my time of difficulties, I would like to thank you so much. I will treasure all your kindness and our happy moments together believing that one day, you will have the open mind and think back how precious our unique relationship is. Although three of us shared the small bed every nights. I miss to hear you snores, miss to hear you singing and I really miss to have a good quality time together with you. I just hope that one day you’ll be back to be together again with us, supporting and correcting each other mistakes with a positive approaches and not by emotional arguments.

For now, life must go on and I have to be strong although there’s a time that  I feel missing you a lot. Sayang, everyone have weakness including you and me and also Baby Jay. Apologize us for the mistakes and hard time that you experienced during our relationship. Sayang, I really miss you!