I do not know why this urge for to write about my self from what I remember from my past childhood time. I was born March 18th, 1974, a second child after my elder sister and the oldest son in the family and I was born as a Moslem since both my parent are Moslem. At the age of five, that time mom was pregnant carrying my sister, and I believed this was the time I had collecting so much evidences of parental argument between dad and mom when dad had an affairs with our housemaid. Its happen when mom gone working, as she work on three work shift basis in government hospital.
Arguments keeps happening and I been seeing mom being bullied, scolded and abandoned by dad.That time I was really in needs so much a love and care from a dad and dad fails to deliver what he supposed to do.Although love from my mom cannot be measured, start from that day, she’s the father and she’s the mother at one time carrying two task when dad decided to leave somewhere else with this ‘housemaid’.
After finished my primary school, I was entered a boarding school, a religious school and stayed in hostel and that was when I was 11 years old. Its all a new environment to me, get to know and mingle with new friends and since it was a religious school it was all boys in the hostel.That time I am still unsure about my orientation but I do enjoy to see school senior boys who’s having athletic body, fair smooth skin with cute looks. Ahh! I just dont care much about it that time as my mom ask me here to study, get a good result and become a religious teacher soon I have graduated.
However time pass by and when I was 13, i enjoyed seeing both cute seniors and juniors and I hooked up few juniors as god brothers. At first I’m just slept together with few of them without doing anything intimate, just sleep together.
At 14, with a good education result the government transferred me to another religious school where I met pupils across the country not just from the state I lived in. And there was a junior, two years much younger than me that really catch my eyes and I approached him without doubt. We did intimacy almost every nights in the store room, in communal shower area when nobody around and where’s there’s urge to do it. I’ll be damn! I know this is very wrong in Moslem religion and yet I still do it.
I have no urge for girls although I can consider myself a decent looking, talented and quite well known in school for my talent in performing ’tilawah’ until representing my state for 3 consecutive years. I also actively involve in many school clubs. But my feeling is towards homosexuality- liking boys. Few more hooks up going on with few more boys I attracted with. I just acted like a big brother who take care my juniors with love and care, cuddle like lovers and we did the intimacy action at the end.
Since that time my school result dropped and I leave school without any good result to further study to university.
AsianG Journal 